🛟 Ask Sarah Anything:How do I convince myself to say yes, even when I'm scared?

I’m a 39-year-old woman who just got asked to represent my team at an out-of-state conference. It’s a big deal. I should feel honored. But, really, I’m paralyzed. And I realize I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately, I think I’ve been playing it safe in work and life. This opportunity could be the shake-up I need, but part of me wants to crawl back into my comfort zone and say no. How do I convince myself to be brave enough to say yes, even when I’m scared?

Signed,

Comfort Zone Queen Trying to Escape

Dear Trying to Escape,

First of all, thank you for your honesty. Naming the rut is an important first step. That’s actually brave as hell.

We haven’t met, but here’s what I know about you: You want to do this even if you don’t believe it yet, otherwise you wouldn’t feel so confused. If you wanted to stay home, you would know that and you would do that. You already know what life is like if you stay home. It’s the life you’ve been living. So you know what you would get if you keep doing what you’ve always done. More of this. You want more than this.

Here’s what I need you to know about wanting more than this. You are allowed to know that you want more, and you don’t have to do anything. I’m not here to push anyone. I will cheer you on every step you take, I will ask questions so that you understand your choices, and I will help you make a choice you love.

But at the end of the day, whatever you do or don’t do is up to you. And there isn’t a right or wrong answer, to take off the pressure to “get it right.” You can make any choice, and as long as you love your reasons for making that choice, that’s all that matters.

Now let me tell you something you might not believe yet: You are exactly the kind of person who does things like this. You’re just not used to seeing yourself that way. And that’s okay.

Playing it safe has kept you safe. It served an important purpose. And it’s also not your only source of safety.

You’ve always been the Comfort Queen. That’s how you see yourself. But something inside you is yearning to escape. And that will require a new self concept of how you see yourself.

This version of you that’s trying to escape is ready for more. That’s why this opportunity showed up now.

Since you already know yourself so well as the Comfort Queen, what if you explored the part of you that wants to escape? Who is that person? If that was a character, what would her name be? What does she wear? How does she move and talk? How does she spend her time? Paint a whole picture of her as if she was a character in a movie. Get to know her and get curious about her like you’re making a new friend.

As you explore this version of yourself, you have this invitation to step into her right now through this event. And here’s a secret: You don’t need to feel 100% confident to say yes. You just need to be willing. Willing to be uncomfortable. Willing to show up nervous. Willing to let this stretch you into the next version of yourself.

What if saying yes isn’t about being fearless, but about being open to your growth, to your potential, to the woman you’re becoming?

You’re not sleepwalking anymore. You’re waking up.

Embrace this new version of you. Say yes to her.

Love,

Sarah, Your confidence hype-woman and truth-teller